MOVE TOWARDS ACCEPTING WHAT IS
Acceptance requires honest observation, choice and movement. Every person encounters situations they did not choose and did not even want. Daily life has numerous examples – rain during your barbecue,a flat tire, a cold that settles in when you have things that must be accomplished.
RESIGNATION IS NOT ACCEPTANCE
It is imperative that we recognize the difference between being resigned to a situation and accepting a situation. Confusing the two is common. When we resign ourselves to a situation, we sow the seeds of becoming a victim. Resignation is a ‘stiff upper lip.” That can sound noble and even applaudable. But….it is applauded by people who are usually happy they aren’t the stiffed lip person!
Acceptance is more in tune with being at peace with a situation . This may not be what we chose but it IS the reality in which we find ourselves. Read on…..
ACCEPTANCE IN STAGES
Acceptance of an undesired situation is rarely automatic. The definition of the word includes consent ,willingness and undertaking. These defining words are considered proactive and positive. So…how do we put a positive spin on a situation that we did not agree to and are not really willing to undertake?
THE THREE A’S OF MOVING TOWARDS ACCEPTANCE
STEP ONE- ACKNOWLEDGE- This is the “get real” baby step towards acceptance. Admit what is happening and where you are. This is the most crucial aspect of moving towards acceptance. What we don’t want is want we most loudly protest.
Protesting keeps us from moving forward, It stalls us. Acceptance opens the door to moving through the situation.
Parents struggle to acknowledge who and how their child may really be. Caregivers victimize themselves in a role that seems to go on and on and on. Couples ignore the roadblocks in their relationship.
STEP TWO – ALLOW – You do not have to like the situation you are in. You do not have to even want it. Once acknowledged, the situation needs to be allowed rather than denied .
Some critical and clarifying questions to underscore allowance are: Does the situation exist? Do you have the power to change the situation or person? How long might this situation last?
And the KICKER of allowing is that you only have the power to change how you react . You know this. Movement towards acceptance is inextricably bound in what YOU decide to do with the situation.
Caregivers need self care strategies and support. Parents of at-risk kids need the same. Allowing that a situation exists opens the door to step three………..
STEP THREE – ACT- Acceptance requires movement. Movement away from the paralyzing position of denial and anger and victimhood. Movement towards solutions. Movement contains action. Action puts our positive life forces in place. Although it doesn’t guarantee instant happiness , it can provide a stage for peace.
And peace and acceptance co-mingle. They keep each other afloat. They give us room to find the strength,humor. resources and energy to just “deal with it”
And life has wave after wave of “deals” to handle. It can be the frustration of our computer crashing, rain when we don’t want it. serious illness, a child off the tracks or caregiving a loved one.
Acceptance puts us in motion. It gets us in the game . It gives us perspective and peace and power,
I invite you to work with me on accepting the “what is” in your life!
