Elderly parent caregiver exhaustion is commonplace.
For those of us who have been at the caregiver helm for years, the long term effects are not subtle.
Instead, the long term effects are now the fabric of our life. While the effects are both positive and negative,sorting them out can be tricky.
Elderly parent caregiver exhaustion- long term effects
Elderly parent caregiving exhaustion – long term effects are measured in degrees.
While exhaustion seems a bit dramatic, it can be the final result of a slow drip of energy.
http://caregivers.com references a few of the hows of this current phenomenon. Although how this trend developed doesn’t solve the issue, it does help to understand it.
For example,longevity has increased significantly in the past 40 years. There were very few people in their 50’s caring for parents in the 1960’s and 1970’s.
As a result, adult children rarely cared for an elderly parent for more than a year.
Now- elderly parent caregivers can expect to devote five to ten years to their elderly parent’s care.
Currently,circa 2017, more than one- third of people in the 60 -74 year old range have a surviving parent. And….more than 70% of those parents need sustained help.
As with any new experience, the effects of this change are not immediately apparent.
Common effects of long term caregiving
Each situation is unique. AND…..similar. Here are a few of the most notable effects:
- Erosion of family relationships- one sibling does most of the heavy lifting. When other family members don’t step up, resentment begins to bloom.
- “Me time” seems to evaporate- most long term caregivers report sacrificing time for themselves to meet their parent’s needs.
- Feeling “on call” becomes constant.
- Getting away, even for a weekend, requires elaborate scaffolding. The most fatigued caregivers report feeling it is “more trouble than it’s worth” to get away.
- Feeling like a “martyr” is sadly familiar.
- Friendships erode or change. If a friend has not walked this path, they really don’t get it . They want the old more fun and available you back!
- Your job is compromised by your caregiving tasks. When there is an emergency or issue, you have to juggle work demands with parent needs.
Long haul elderly parent caregiver survival
http://gracefulgrit.com/ long term elderly parent caregiver emotional costs is an earlier posts stating potential “danger” areas.
Because we care about our parents, we forget to care for ourselves.
As a result,most long term elderly parent caregivers experience an energy drain.Those who adjust and adapt practice most of the following techniques CONSISTENTLY:
- Get regular weekly help.
- Contact your local Area Agency on Aging.
- Make and appointment with an Elder Care attorney. See what needs to be in place for the logistics.
- If your siblings or family members who “should” be helping aren’t, contact an Elder Care mediator. If there is to be any balance of responsibility this could be the way to get it.
- Be RUTHLESS about taking care of yourself . Schedule time for you EVERY DAY.
- Say NO to nonessential parent care .
- Say NO to any favors that do not make YOUR life better.
Elderly parent caregiver exhaustion- long term effects
First of all,long term care of another human being has residual effects. Consequently, the drain and worry diminish our quality of life.
Sacrifices are inherent in long term elderly parent caregiving. However, too much self sacrifice disrespects the act of caregiving.
Although we want to do the “right thing” for our parent, the cost can crush the good.
Does your parent really want you exhausted and burned out?
Especially since you are their most valuable asset!
In conclusion, only YOU can keep you life on a healthy track!
Most of all, there is no healthy connection to being a martyr!
Other related posts on this site:
Elderly parent caregiver emotional costs
Conquering caregiver martyr complex
