Sandwich struggles- elderly parents, caregivers, kids
Sandwich struggles- elderly parents,caregivers,kids focuses on the key word struggle. Coined in 1981, the sandwich generation describes those people managing elderly parent, child and job responsibilities. All at the same time!
And in the thirty years since the ” sandwichers ” were first recognized, the population swelled. And continues to do so.
Caregivers juggle issues from numerous fronts. Children and spouses generate tasks and responsibilities. Elderly parents have changing needs. Jobs have distinct parameters.
Sandwich struggles- elderly parents, caregivers, kids involves complex problem solving.
As a result,caregivers give and manage. Almost all caregivers feel the “crunch” of too much, too often.
Tips to seriously consider
First – look at the “wheel” dynamics of sandwich struggles. Caregivers represent the hub. Elderly parents, children, spouses and jobs are the spokes. For the wheel to keep spinning, the hub MUST be strong.
Claire Gillespie,http://she knows.com, suggests some of the following caregiver “tuneups”:
- Collaborate rather than confront. Caregivers use collaboration as a tool for solutions. Examples include; talking with parents before major changes occur. .BUT…..collaboration works best before caregiver an issue develops!
- Create and follow a roadmap.This is a tricky caregiver journey. The roadmap “signposts” include: legal documents, care plans and family supports.
- Mobile streamline Caregivers coordinate. Mobile apps manage.
- Build your team! You may be the caregiver captain but you NEED a team! Siblings and family members need to be enlisted for elderly parent care. Friends, agencies and neighbors are possible sources.
- Keep your kids involved Kids tune into your stress. It affects them. Let them know what your elderly parent caregiver role entails. Your changing role and demands alters your availability for them.
- Establish a confidant.Elderly parent caregivers NEED someone to whom they can turn. REALLY! If you do not have someone who can relate, engage a coach or health care professional. It needs to be someone outside your family loop. This is critically important!!!
- Where are YOU in the care plan? Caregivers are notorious for putting themselves LAST. As uncommon as it is, caregivers who keep their needs first are the most successful at keeping the sandwich wheel spinning!
NO Hero sandwiches!
As the term suggests, the “sandwich” situation does not have to be a “hero”. Especially, if the elderly parent caregiver takes on the role! This is a jumbo, colossal “,take you to your knees” circumstance.
Sandwich struggles- elderly parents, caregivers, kids is a campaign.
You are the benevolent general in an all out war. Caregivers do the best they can with this campaign . All elderly paren caregivers experience being human and fallible.
Find the services in your community.
Abandon the “do it all” label ( also called martyrs!)
Establish healthy boundaries.
Say NO to non- essentials.
Guilt – NO WAY!!
Call or email for a complimentary session. You do NOT have to do this alone!
julie@ gracefulgit.com 208-755-2824
