Elderly Parent Caregiver Isolation
Elderly parent caregiving leads to some degree of isolation. Elderly parent caregiver isolation is unhealthy.
Yes -there are rewards for doing this noble work. These are people you love. These are your parents. These are primary people in your life. These are the people with whom you began your life.
As your parent’s life draws to an end, the relationship reboots. It takes on the same attributes it had in the beginning. The relationship has only a few members. You, your parent and maybe a sibling or two. It is a small circle. And the circle can become isolating. IF you allow it.
The isolation is insidious. It is unintended. It comes with the caregiver territory. BUT…. few know that until it becomes an issue. An issue that comprises an already complex situation.
Recognizing Elderly Parent Caregiver Isolation
Caregiver isolation must be recognized and acknowledged. Here are some key factors:
- You turn down invitations with friends. Frequently. You place the routine caregiver requirements ahead of “you” time.
- You make a habit of scheduling your life around that of your parent’s needs.
- Your “free” time is minimal or nonexistent.
- You are left out of social gatherings in which you were previously included.
- You feel anxious, tired and “responsible” MOST of the time.
- You view other’s lives with envy. They seem so “free”.
- You don’t hear from people very often. They used to call and check in.
- You long for someone with whom you can talk. You long to share your story.
Connect to Correct
Once you recognize your isolation- ACT! It is in the A-C-T-I-O-N where isolation can be lessened. Perhaps not eliminated- but controlled.
The enormity of caregiving elderly parents does limit us It does NOT have to isolate us. Isolation is our choice. We do it to ourselves. We allow our responsibility for our elderly parent(s) diminish our responsibility to ourselves.
Action Possibilities: Here are a few sample possibilities:
- Reach out to others. Make a date with your spouse, your partner, you friend or your co-worker.
- Make a date TODAY. Schedule the date soon- within the next week!
- Schedule an ongoing activity for yourself. Hire a personal trainer . Join a book club. Join a support group.. The trick is that this activity is scheduled and ongoing.
- Plan something for yourself every day. Even a scheduled 15 minute break at Starbucks gives you some “just for you time.”
- Hire a respite caregiver. This gives you time to be “off call” for a scheduled amount of time.
- Hire a life coach to guide you towards a more balanced approach to your life. http://www.gracefulgrit.com
Elderly parent caregiving gives us focus and purpose. If done with care and consideration it is rewarding. The care and consideration MUST include the caregiver. First. Daily. Without apology.
You do not have to be lonely in this journey. I know this road. I can help.
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- 9 Years as Facilitator for local retiement adjustment group
- Bachelor of Science in Education (B.S.)
- Three Master's Degrees (M. Eds) in Learning Remediation, Vocational Education and Administration.
- Certified Family Transitions Coach (Certified Through Coach Training Alliance)
- Active member of International Coach Federation.
- Lifelong learner and practitioner of gracefully applying grit to life's challenging transitions.
Email: Julie@JulieGreen.org
Phone: 208-755-2824
