Elderly parent caregiver heroines- daughters KNOW healthcare issues.
Due to current confusion over future healthcare options, daughters with elderly parents create their own “systems”.
Although discussions about Obamacare and Trumpcare take center stage, daughter care is the glue of elderly parent care.
While discussions swirl around healthcare possibilities, the most reliable form of elderly parent care falls on daughters.
Heavy lifters
The medical journal JAMA recently highlighted a pending crisis for daughters of elderly parents.
By the year 2030, one in five Americans will be 65 or older. Additionally, the number of elderly people with dementia is expected to increase by 3 million people.
And with no clear care programs in sight, daughters will do the heavy lifting of extended care.
As a result, women will continue to make the biggest sacrifices. Sacrifices that demand their elderly parent’s needs become a center of attention.
These sacrifices affect women’s job performance, family relationships, personal and emotional health.
Probably the biggest challenge of this yeoman work it that we are constantly working on balance.
And balance is a moving target!
Elderly parent caregiver heroines- daughters
http://nytimes.com recently ran an article on how daughters truly save the day for their elderly parents.
Since we admire heroines for courage and noble qualities, daughters technically qualify for this term.
Another attribute of heroines is how much we tend to sympathize with their situation.
Rather than wanting sympathy, daughter caregivers look for empathy and HELP!
Almost all elderly parent caregiver daughters appreciate praise. While the accolades feel great, they have limited positive effect.
For example, a working daughter uses her lunch hour to manage her elderly parent’s needs. While this is a “good use of time”, it leaves little space for the daughter to care for herself.
Rather than basking in what a “saint” her co-workers may call her, the daughter absorbs more and more responsibilities.
Eventually, even the most dedicated caregiver slowly melts down. AND….the erosion of job performance adds to her moving from “saint” to “martyr”.
For once the working team wearies of the daughter not being as available, the sympathy wanes. Unless they have empathetically been there, co-workers lose interest if they have to pick up the “slack”.
Tough but true
While this may seem like the bad news, current trends of elderly parent caregiver heroines- daughters includes some of the following:
- Caregiving support programs are spotty- especially in more rural areas.
- The cost of care is prohibitive. Most families are caught in the “donut hole”- not wealthy enough to pay for full time care but not “poor” enough for Medicaid.
- Medicare Part E- a proposed initiative to support long term care- is on “pause”
- Caregiver daughter’s careers are often impacted by the high demands of elderly parent caregiving.
- Women caregivers experience more physical demands.
- Marriages and friendships are strained.
- Social isolation is common with elderly parent caregiver daughters.
Elderly parent caregiver heroines- daughters unite!
While the reality is difficult, solutions lie with the caregivers themselves. The answer is within us – the heroine daughter caregiver. Facts and possibilities are:
- People are surviving longer- even with chronic conditions- and will need increased caregiving.
- At some point, the government will address this need. Until then:
- Women will continue to provide a disproportionate amount of caregiving.
- Caregiver heroines- daughters MUST establish boundaries for themselves! Say NO to things that unnecessarily add to your responsibilities.
- Find, join,create and support your “tribe”- those who “get” what you’re doing!
- Proactively impact any legislation that forwards elderly care. Write your senator and representative.
- Find help! Agencies, families, neighbors are available to give some sort of support.
- Contact your local Area Agency on Aging for resource possibilities.
YOU- an elderly parent caregiver heroine MUST direct your OWN care! Sure- it IS tough. But SO ARE YOU!
I know this path really well . With all its potholes and lack of direction, it is navigable. There are a LOT of us on this journey. Allow me to help you find your way.
Here are additional related posts on this website:
Elderly parent caregiver exhaustion- long term effects
Long term elderly parent caregiver lessons learned
Long term elderly parent caregiver emotional costs
