Caregiver survival -creating space
Caregiver survival- creating space requires looking inward. Looking at what we are not doing. For ourselves.
Sooner or later, caregiver’s lives collapse. Slowly. Steadily. Invisibly.
As caregivers we live beyond personal boundaries. We focus towards another. Focus on ourself self is blurred. As well as compromised.
Moreover, constantly focusing away from one’s self builds gateways. Gateways to decreased health. AND…..resentment.
http://HELPGUIDE.org presents many examples of how caregivers succumb to stress. Here is more evidence AND suggestions to manipulate time and stress.
“ Time that it takes“
Dedicating time to others subtracts time from ourselves. Eventually,this affects our well being.
As a family caregivers, we feel squeezed by time.
Even the most selfless of family caregivers experience time deprivation.
The amount of necessary caregiving time fluctuates. The tasks vary. They may be mundane. Laundry. Shopping.To say nothing of : transport to doctors,paying bills. dispensing meds. And equally important………
Caregivers devote time to “be” with a loved one. Time to talk and listen. To empathize, support and encourage.
Still, time is finite. We cannot make more time. Although this may be true,caregivers CAN create more space.
Space within time
Regardless of time, there is space. But… space never reveals itself.
Instead,we need to find space.
Uniquely, by finding space we loosen the choke hold of time deprivation. The good news is….
We can create space. Within the boundaries of time. And the benefits to caregivers are immediate.
Where is this caregiver space?
First, we need to find space.
Space is imbedded in our habits. And our environment. Also…space is MOST available within our choices.
To find space: make room for yourself. Just like we make room in our closets. in other words, eliminate or lessen.
Eliminate what is unnecessary. Do you really HAVE to go to the dry cleaners today? How critical is it to put up Halloween decorations? Is this the year you choose NOT to send Christmas cards?
Say NO . Where are the places that you are doing “should” things? For instance, you should volunteer more : at church, at your kid’s school, at work?
Shoulds are traps.They steal time and clog up space.
Additionally, lessen your caregiving time. Take the scenic ride home. Skip a non- essential caregiving task. Is the task a MUST or a SHOULD?
Caregiver survival- creating space
To sum up:
- Spending caregiving time is necessary. BUT….
- Creating space for ourself is critical. Space supports caregiver survival.
- Review where and how you spend time.
- Eliminate what is unnecessary for your life NOW.
- Say NO. To anything or anyone who does NOT promote your well being.
- There is no such thing as a should.
- Practice space building! Spend 15 minutes ruthlessly cleaning a closet! If you have not touched it, worn it ,used it or looked it in the past 6 months- eliminate it!
- Spend 15 minutes every day doing less caregiving to others. Use that time for you.
Caregiver survival- creating space is available to all caregivers. It takes practice. It takes a shift in perception.
I have been a caregiver for 13 years. During this time, creating my own space has kept me afloat . Made me more buoyant. AND…helped me be a more empathetic caregiver. Not to mention a happier person!
I invite you to work with me. Caregiving is best when supported by one who knows the road.
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- 9 Years as Facilitator for local retiement adjustment group
- Bachelor of Science in Education (B.S.)
- Three Master's Degrees (M. Eds) in Learning Remediation, Vocational Education and Administration.
- Certified Family Transitions Coach (Certified Through Coach Training Alliance)
- Active member of International Coach Federation.
- Lifelong learner and practitioner of gracefully applying grit to life's challenging transitions.
Email: Julie@JulieGreen.org
Phone: 208-755-2824
