CHAOS WHILE CAREGIVING
Caregiving chaos comes with the territory. The chaos may not seem outwardly profound or severe. BUT…it IS present whenever caregiving requires attention. And that attention is subtracted from other aspects of our lives.
Chaos infers turmoil and disorder. The turmoil begins with worry. It picks up speed as caregiving increases and continues. Disorder in caregiving rarely has much to do with organization. It almost always links to how interrupted a caregiver’s life may feel.
Giving care to others extends us beyond me and into we. There are considerations for caregiving that expand our life agenda. We prioritize these considerations. Our daily agenda may include many considerations for caregiving . These “must do” lists for others may seem to squeeze out considerations of our own needs.
WHAT IS THIS CAREGIVER CHAOS?
Most caregivers initially deny that chaos exists with their caregiving. Most caregivers recite the organization, discipline and scheduling they construct. One wife explains how she dutifully visits her parapalegic husband in his nursing facility before and after work every day. Even though it ties her down, she continues, it isn’t chaotic. It is orderly, it is routine. It is what she feels is her responsibility!
Few would deny the need for caregiving. Few would deny the nobility of caregiving. It is in the disruption of a caregiver’s life that chaos resides. Chaos is the discord between what we do and what we feel.
It is where the shadow of ” future worry” lurks. We can’t know the outcome of our caregiving focus. We can hope for the best outcome. We can hope for a conclusion that is positive and merciful.
Caregiver chaos is the widening chasm between what we do and how we feel.
CALM YOUR CAREGIVER CHAOS
Chaos in caregiving is subtle. Stress and caregiver burnout are not. Calming the chaos takes dedicated focus, planning and resolve. It requires CHANGE.
The change is what you do for you. It requires caregivers to restructure their routine. It requires a decision to create a daily oasis of calm.
The oasis is where you take a break, The oasis is where you make plans to meet with a friend, take the long route home, listen to music, take a walk! Nature provides sanctuaries of calm. A local park, a hike in the woods, a quiet time near running water provide sanctioned calm.
BUT…..caregivers quip….I don’t have time! BUT……YES YOU DO! The time must be borrowed, reclaimed and rededicated to you.
http://www.care-givers.com provides reasons and examples of caregiver calming. It illustrates how important it is to calm the chaos- even for short bursts of time.
“Sometimes putting yourself first isn’t selfish, it is just necessary”.
You did not create the caregiving need. But… you are responding to to. You have a responsibility to refresh, reboot and recharge yourself.
Know that caregiver chaos exists. Know that you, the caregiver, CAN calm the chaos. It doesn’t remove the stress, the demands and the conditions.
Calming the chaos gives you a rest stop. It gives you a roadmap from one rest stop to the next. It gives you a time of calm.
