BOOGLED BOOMERS– Elderly Parent Care
Boogled Boomers provide elderly parent care at an historically high rate. This is the first generation to have it all. All of the challenges of their own aging. All of the transitions of moving from a career towards retirement. All of the challenges of having grown children and grandchildren. AND…all of the challenges of caregiving elderly parents.
And they are….BOOGLED. The magnitude and complexity of the circumstances can be jaw dropping. Responsibilities are divided – unequally- between our personal lives and the needs of our elderly parents.
Boogled boomers, people between the age of 50 and 70, find themselves staggered by conflicts. Conflicts of managing the needs of increasingly dependent parents. Conflicts of planning for retirement. Conflicts of providing family time for adult children, spouse, grandchildren and friends.
Coined “the sandwich generation”, this aging boomer population faces the struggles of their own changing reality . They also provide support for parents in their 70’s,80’s and 90’s. The “sandwich” can be a tight fit.There is limited freedom to wiggle between tiers of responsibility.
BOOGLED AND BOXED- What to do?
Boogling circumstances do not change quickly. The circumstances of caregiving adult parents is a trajectory of deterioration. The future holds unfamiliar struggles.
Boomers can feel trapped and boxed in. The demands are significant and the support scanty. Unless someone has been there, it seems as if no one else “gets it.” “They” don’t. YOU get it. YOU get to figure it out.
Here are a few suggestions to bust some of the boogling elements:
- Work towards acceptance rather than resignation of the circumstance. There IS a difference! See the post on this home page.
- Create space in you life. Space and time should support each other. Your time is framed by responsibilities. Your space is created by YOU. Opening up space requires letting go and prioritization. Saying NO is crucial.
- Solicit and accept help. Find it in local Area Agency for Aging in your community. http://areaagencyonaging.org
- Recognize that you may lose or need to let go of “friends”. These are people who may judge you and your actions. You may not be as much “fun” during this challenging time.
- Schedule “you” time. Make this appointment with yourself non-negotiable. Anything less than a life threatening emergency does NOT constitute a cancellation with your wellness time.
- Allow that no one wrote this chapter of your life. The circumstances are not nearly as much an issue as what you make of it.
This takes careful and deliberate maintenance of YOU. It is not easy. Every one has a different slant. AND…..you DO have the resilience to make it through this!
This can be a lonely path. You do not have to travel it alone.
Contact me for ways to find YOUR strength and resolve. I can help you help yourself.
